As Dana reflects on her childhood, she believes, with the right support, children’s lives can be turned around.
Dana Catania has been taking care of others her whole life. When her mother abandoned her and her three sisters when she was just 5 years old, she was forced into adulthood. She became “mom” to her younger siblings in her own mother’s absence.
“My earliest memories include watching my mom’s stomach being pumped in the front yard,” she recalls. Her mother had suffered for decades from addiction.
Dana’s father was an overnight truck driver and didn’t have the means nor the interest to care for her or her sisters. The girls eventually moved in with their grandparents who took them in with open arms. While it was a struggle for her aging grandparents to care for four growing girls, they made it work. Unfortunately, within a short time, they both became ill. As they realized they could no longer care for their four grandchildren, they found the Masonic Children’s Home.
“Before we left, my grandparents said to me, ‘You have to be brave for your sisters,’” Dana recalls. “At that point, I remember thinking, ‘This is it. We only have each other now.’ I was only 9 years old.”
As time went on, Dana realized she was wrong. For the first time in her life, she was able to be a kid at the children’s home. She was able to laugh, play in the back yard, and sing and dance in the kitchen. She had her sisters and gained many more siblings. House parents asked her about her day, then actually listened. She let her fear go and worked to overcome her feelings of neglect.
“At home, we were never not fed or clothed,” Dana said, “but we were told kids should be seen but not heard. We got used to being screamed at. At the time, I didn’t even know how much I needed the children’s home, but I did.”
As Dana grew into a young adult, she learned valuable life lessons at the children’s home, like the importance of hard work. She excelled academically, took a part-time job and worked to afford her first car, something she’s still proud of. Dana found a passion in cheerleading and was able to attend training camps and competitions, thanks to donor support. When she left the children’s home nearly nine years after first arriving, she was a changed person.
“My whole life, I wanted a normal family,” Dana said, “but I wouldn’t trade my children’s home experience for anything. They instilled determination in me, and they taught me to be an open and loving person, even with people who aren’t like me. It was the first place where I felt truly at home and relaxed.”
After graduating from the children’s home, Dana took advantage of scholarship opportunities sponsored by donors and earned her bachelor’s degree in communications from Central Penn College, where she met her husband, AJ. Now a mother of three, memories of Dana’s youngest years encourage her to be the best mom she can be.
“My little girl is 5 years old, which is how old I was when my mom left, and I can’t imagine leaving her,” she says. “I love all my kids so much, and I want to spend as much time with them as I can. I want to listen when they speak, and I want to make sure they know what they have to say is important.”
When Dana thinks back to the past, her heart breaks for the little girls she and her sisters once were. She realizes, without the children’s home, her life could have went in any direction, which is what haunts her most as an adult.
In her home, framed and hanging beside her bed, is a letter one children’s home staff member wrote to her upon her graduation from the program. The letter reminds her that she is a good sister and friend and that she is capable of making her own future. It reminds her of the beautiful life she’s built, even after facing adversity. She glances at the letter nearly every morning before waking her children up, feeding them breakfast and homeschooling them throughout the day. It’s a letter to remind her that she’s not her past.
“When I have fears that I will become my parents, I read that letter,” Dana says. “It reminds me that my life isn’t going to be a reflection of where I came from. That’s not who I am.”
Dana finds the most joy when experiencing childhood through the eyes of her kids, including the things she missed out on during her own. “My son is 6, and he loves to sing, laugh and act out characters,” she says. “He reminds me of how happy I was at the children’s home. I even call my sisters, explain what funny or crazy thing he’s doing and say, ‘Doesn’t this remind you of every Saturday in our cottage growing up?’”
Dana’s faith has also provided her with comfort and the ability to forgive. She serves as the children’s coordinator at her church, where she often teaches kids her favorite lesson: when it seems like the world is pushing against you, don’t give up. She credits that lesson and her passion for helping kids to the children’s home. Dana’s dream is to one day become a youth pastor, and she began taking courses online with the support of her husband.
“When I see my husband with our kids, I always think, ‘I would have given anything to have a dad like that,’” Dana says. “When I was a kid, the thought of having a picture perfect family was something I was always trying to hold on to, and now I finally have it. It happened decades later than I expected, but it’s everything I’ve ever wanted.”